Thank you for stopping in to check on me.
I can not begin to express how much
it has meant to me.

This is how I'm currently feeling:

Alive
Tired
Antsy
Excited
Nervous
Nauseous
Guilty
Negative
Positive
Overwhelmed
Deflated
Sleepy
Wide Awake
Dread
Anxious
Confused
Proud
Sad
Alone
Disliked
Loved
Irritated
Hopeful
Blessed

Is that light at the end of my tunnel??


More later.....

I justed wanted to let everyone know
that my life is in an utter mess
right now.
Just last week bliss
and now I feel I am in Hell.
I don't know when I can blog
again.
I have to figure somethings out.
I feel as if my whole world
has been turned upside down.
It's not my marriage, my pets
or my family, it's with my
job.
Please send me some postive
thoughts right now and the
next days and weeks.
I don't know what my future holds
right now.
Thanks!!!

Fun.
Too many beers.
Too many shots of Jeiger.
I let myself cut loose.....
just a bit.
Got to see old faces
and became even more
attached to my biker friends.
Met new people too.
If I couldn't remember your
name, I would call you
by your city or state.
For short they could just
yell "Hey Kentucky!"
and I would answer.
Never met an unkind person.
EVERYBODY was happy,
wanting to have a good time.
All walks of life.
I had a blast and I
can't wait till next year.
I hope this becomes my
yearly get away.
It is like going away to
another world where everyone
is out to have a good time.
They don't care if they
never met you before in their
life but their willing to
converse with you, buy you
a drink and maybe take you
on a ride.
(By the way I am very
choosy about riding with
some stranger, friendly or not--
I only rode with three guys and
they were straight up dudes--
2 of them especially--as I like
to think of them know as my
'brothers', friends for life!!)

You know since I have
been home I have been out
and about in my town
and it's so different.
The people, that is.
Not as friendly.
I see arrogance.
People are stuck in their
clicks and have an air
about them.
I just want to be nice,
smile, try to make friends
with strangers and it's
just not easy at all.

Hey as I write this I just
heard a motorcycle roar by.
I miss that sound.
I want my own bike.
Yeah...I can dream.

Feelin' a bit melancholy.
I miss the beach.
I miss my friends.
I miss not having
to do nothing but sit in the sun
or sit on my bar stool.

Don't get me wrong I missed
my husband, I missed my pets.
I just had a good time.
And good times like that.....
well, you savor the memory.

I'm baackkkkkkkkkkkk......
Did you miss me??
I survived Myrtle Beach Biker's Week 2007.
I survived the 4 airplanes I was on.
I feel like a new person.
Maybe I need to change my theme on
my blog to something different.
Maybe some biker chick theme?
You know the more I live,
the more I see all the
different aspects of me.
More and more I see
how I like so many different
things on all sides of the spectrum.
No what I mean?

More later.

(Fear not
For I am the Lord, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you
DO NOT FEAR, I WILL HELP YOU
--Isaiah 41:13)

okay, so I am trying to be calm.
I am trying not to worry.
I am trying to tame this
crazy thinking mind of mine.
I gotta have FAITH!!!!
I love this scripture.

Thank you for all your comments.
They mean alot.

See you when I return.

I'm a bit nervous.
You see I get nervous when I get
on an airplane.
I haven't flown in two years.
I do have anxiety issues.
I get nervous in a car.
I get nervous in a plane.
I chose the plane over being
in a car for 8 hours.
The plane being so much quicker
and safer.
But still I'm freakin' a bit.
I am trying to keep myself calm.
I even had my doc write me out
a prescription for valium.
Just a little something to take
the edge off.
Here's the thing--
my mind is just out of control.
I guess I have watched too
many shows and movies about
airplane crashes.
You know, how the TV show
"Lost" began.
Then there is that movie
"Alive" where those soccer
players went down in the Andes
Mountains and they had do eat
human flesh to stay alive.
Then there is "Castaway"
with Tom Hanks.
Then there is the documentary
I watched on United Flight 232
which crashed (as in cartwheeling).
I should have never watched that
video!!
Last but certainly not least is
Comair Flight 5191 which crashed
August 28, 2006 only 49 seconds
in the air, went down the wrong
runway, and that's where I'm flying
out of.
Hey wait minute!
9/11 !!!!!!!!!!
Plus, as a big ole dumby I
checked out the airdisasters.com
website. As if seeing that
would make me feel better!
However, it did give me some
websites to check out regarding
fear of flying.

Just to give you an example of how
my mind (that never turns off!) works.
I go to the tanning bed tonight.
I'm trying to relax. But yet my
mind starts remembering the feeling
of being in the plane, taxing, then
building up speed, the noise of the
wheels, the acceleration, and then lift off,
the feeling in my stomach............
it is tho I can almost feel it and then
my stomach drops as if the plane is
going down and I kid you not this is the lyric I hear playing on the radio:

"We got the bubbleheaded bleach-blonde,
comes on at 5. She can tell you about the
plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die,
give us dirty laundry"
(From Don Henley's song "Diry Laundry)

Coincidence, I'm sure.
But I hate when things like that happen.
Doesn't quell my fears.
I did not lay there calmly, I must add.

Bottom line, I am going to the beach.
4 days.
I'm scared.
I'll get over it.
I will sit there and
worry and sweat till we land,
switch planes, and up again,
then land.
I just had to share.
Please keep your fingers
crossed that things go
smoothly and that my praying
and my valium work!

"Take control of your destiny.
Believe in yourself.
Ignore those who try to
discourage you.
Avoid negative sources,
people, places, things
and habits.
Don't give up and
don't give in."
--Wanda Carter


5 days till the beach!

A tribute to last years KY Derby Winner-Barbaro.

Well, I'm a busy bee.
We have company coming in for Derby (Thursday!!).
I have been trying to get the house
in tip top shape.
Busy at work.
Busy at home.
I do not feel I have had
any spare time: Cleaning,
(I need a maid!)
running errands, being
slammed at work.
I hope to come check up with you
all when all the excitement dies down.
Like I said, Derby is an exciting time
of year.
So on that note, I'm going back to
cleaning. This little bee
going to get back to work!
But this doesn't mean you can't pop by
and say hello!
Happy Derby everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My real name. I'd probably have to say maybe my mother.
The nickname I use to have--a character on a soap opera.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Oh come on! I'm a girl. Somthing is bound to make me teary eyed
atleast once a day or every other day.
A real cry? I dunno. Couple of weeks ago.
Had a bad pet scare.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes I do.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT(s)?
Brown sugar cured ham.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No unless you count my pets:::smile:::

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Hell no! Just kidding.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT?
Never! okay, all the time.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes. What are tonsils for anyway?

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Nope. I have no desire. I'm chicken.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Triple berry Cheerios

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Usually not.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG NOW?
Depends on the situation.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Blue Bunny Banana Split

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
if they make eye contact

15. RED OR PINK?
Pink

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
that if I let someone make me angry, I plot.
Now 98% of the time I do not act upon it.
I just hate that I think the thoughts that I do.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My real mother. Never knew her so I feel that I miss
knowing what it would have been like to have had a
loving mother.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU ?
Obviously this question does not apply here.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
It's 11:28 p.m. and it's time for bed.
I'm not wearing pants and I'm not wearing shoes.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Rotisseire chicken

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
TV blaring in the living room....some sporting event

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Silver

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
the mixture of the beach, ocean and suntan lotion

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
patient

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
This was not sent to me. I stole it from Stupid Tom.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football

27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown with auburn

28. EYE COLOR?
Green

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Sushi

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS
Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Ray

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
It's a t-shirt from the Rain Forest Cafe Las Vegas
(a gift becuz I haven't been to Vegas)

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer!!!!!

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends on from who?:::smile:::

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Bananas Foster

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
???????????

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
I really don't care.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Wasted by Marya Hornbacher AND
Climbing the Mountain By Anne a Lay apostle

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Usually my mouse

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
E! Entertainment News

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Hearing my husband say I love you.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Europe-England, France & Switzerland

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I am one helluva car dancer.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Kentucky

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING?
Anyone who cares to answer.